I'm in Austria right now Pt.3 + Update!

Finally able to enjoy a bit of respite from these hectic past couple of days. I got back from Austria on the 26th of September and it's been constant work, work, work since then. 

I sound like I'm complaining but I'm not! It's a bookstore that is opening in the mall in my area and I'm really excited about it. They don't just have books, they also focus on other physical media such as DVDs, CDs, and vinyl which is very much up my alley. We are in the process of setting up fixtures and putting away boxes and boxes of books. I was assigned in the Graphic Novel and Comic section of the store, and I don't mind at all. It gives me such creative inspiration as I'm exposed to covers of intricate and beautiful art. I've already set aside of couple of books to buy later.... 

It's physically grueling 10-hour work days, consisting of lifting heavy stacks of books and organizing them, and for someone so out-of-shape as I am I've been walking with a dull ache in my thighs from bending down over and over but my god am I loving it anyway. Stick me in a quiet corner with my headphones in while I alphabetize hundreds of DC and Marvel titles and I'd perfectly okay. I barely know anyone there but the people I've worked with have been very nice so far. The work environment is strangely so chill that's its almost unnerving, and in some weird way I'm almost apprehensive to how kind everyone is, like this is actually an elaborate ruse and I'm about to get the rug pulled out from under me at any second... my brain works in strange ways.  

For the last day in Austria we took a tour in a place called Zotter Schokolade, which is a chocolate factory / outdoor art exhibit / park / zoo? It's a crazy amalgamation of things residing besides a mountainous view of a castle and it was probably my favorite part of the trip. 

We started off by being huddled into this tiny theatre with stuffed heavy sacks for seats. They show us a documentary of the Zotter Family alongside their resident artist, Andreas H. Gratze as they go through the process of perfecting the most rich and scent-enhancing chocolate. After the film ends they hand us a plastic spoon and the chocolate tasting tour begins. 

I'm in Austria right now Pt. 2.

Yesterday morning we made our way to the Schlossberg tower with empty stomachs after reading that they had a cafe nestled at the top. We thought, "Wow, wouldn't that be so cute to have breakfast up there?" We were naive. There are many ways you could go. A lift that you have to pay extra for. The Schlossbergbahn, which is a cable car that takes you to the top and the bottom. Well, it's supposed to. We went at opening and guess what... it was closed. And we didn't want to pay the euro just to take an elevator. So we trekked numerous flights of stairs with not a single thing in our bodies to give us energy. There were groups of school kids in front of us, taking the journey up like no problem whilst the two of us huffed and puffed the whole way through. 

By the time we reached the top we were so, so over it and starving but you have to admit the view is gorgeous. Sea of red brick-piled rooftops and lush autumn greenery.  We had to move up more steep pavements in order to reach the cafe, which wasn't fun. Seeing that cafe entrance was like being witness to the birth of Christ, I swear. It was gratefully so worth it. We ordered an array of cheeses, breads, and salads. Not a preservative or artificial flavor in sight. It's the next day as I'm writing this and I'm still thinking about it. 

We sat outside and enjoyed the view. Forgot to mention but there's another way to reach the bottom if you don't feel obliged to walk or take the lift down. There's this crazy underground slide that you can also embark on, but after having eaten I did not want to be a participant. What's funny is that the area where you slide was right by our table, so along with us helping ourselves to soft-boiled eggs and greek yogurt with jam were the intermittent sounds of people's screams echoing from below, adding a delightful ambience to our meal. We took a long, winding road down to the bottom, having to stop every minute or so to rest. 

View from the stairs. 

What a cool sticker. 

The clocktower. 

The famous stairs. Looks cool but is so, so tiring.

 

What I notice in Austria is that they love to be closed at such odd hours. I'm used to America, where everything opens at around 9 and closes at 9, Monday-Sunday. Here it's whatever you desire it to be. Half the places I wanted to go to were closed but only on Monday, some places closed at 1pm and opened again at 2, others were only open between 1-5. Let's just say it's really hard to schedule an itinerary because a lot of places just soar off on vibes. I can't blame them, I would love to be able to go home before the sun went down. Maybe that's why there are so many bars here, because what else are you able to do after work?

 

Being here definitely does not help my anxiety. I stick out so much, a frumpy mess of short spiky black hair in a sea of tall, thin blondes. I get stared at so often as we weave through crowds, and I wish I knew that it wasn't for the reason I'm thinking. Maybe I'm just sooo cool that they can't help but look. Maybe my stupid haircut isn't actually that stupid. 

 

We ate a sushi place that night (it was actually really damn good) and there was a couple that were seated behind us, and both of them stared at me. Like, the guy was facing me and looking and the girl in front of him turned fully around just to look at me. And after that, they got up and seemingly left. I'm not quite sure how I'm supposed to take the situation. Sometimes I wonder if this is all in my head. Maybe they just had somewhere else to be. Maybe what people are saying when they are whispering to themselves as they pass by you is them reciting their grocery lists. Maybe they're not laughing at me.

 

After the Schlossberg we walked down this long street full of shops, very reminiscent of the Magnificent Mile in Chicago. A lot of them didn't really interest me, mostly luxury stores with boring clothes or gift shops with old people soaps. I was quite surprised. Where's all the cool shit? I had heard there was a Flying Tiger, a store I always wanted to go to. I bought a couple things, mostly gifts. Then Lush, where I was sold on many products because the saleslady was really, really nice and I really needed that after feeling like an alien (no pun intended) with everyone else. 

 

There was even a Dunkin', surprisingly, I think our new thing is to visit a Dunkin' every time we travel somewhere to compare. All I can say is, don't order Austrian Dunkin'. 

 

 

Lots of pens....

This Super Milk spray smelled so good. My boyfriend says I smell like cake.

 

 

 

 

 

Things I made in Graz

Stuff I made during downtime. All designed on Photoshop, most images procured from Pixabay, Pinterest, and Texturelabs.

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Currently into Nirvanna the Band and I desperately needed merch so I just made my own. Waiting patiently for it to arrive!!

This was for a class I'm taking currently, where you have to create a fake flyer/ad for an ice cream company. Attempted at a vintage feel. Made two slight variations and I can't decide which one I like more.

Took a photo of an interesting statue outside of the campus where my boyfriend's work convention was at. Used my JVC Picsio and was pretty bored so I just started messing around with textures. Wish I could print out stickers for this or something like that.

Currently also taking a photography class and I was messing around with shutter speed. I love seeing the blur of things in motion while the rest of the world is standing still. This was at a random stoplight near a flower shop. I could see this being an album cover to a random 2000's indie pop album. The band would be called Bubbletrance or something like that.

I'm in Austria right now.

Really unexpected, to be honest. My boyfriend had a convention to go to, and wanted me to tag along since he'd be gone for the week. I thought it was a good idea; though last time I went with him it turned out to be a major disaster, partly because of our inexperience with flying alone. 

This time went a lot more smoothly, albeit quite arduous. 24 hours of traveling which consisted of waiting. Lots and lots of waiting in the most uncomfortable chairs that anybody could ever think of. It's like years of weight seeping into the molded cushion until I felt like I was sitting on nothing but bone. I went in and out of conciousness on my 8 hour Austrian flight, sandwiched between the most fussy woman ever; toting 3 different duty free bags shoved under her chair, wrestling with blankets and traveling cushions, and my boyfriend, watching YouTube videos on his phone and as much as I love him he has the boniest shoulder ever. 

You think it's over when we arrive, no way. We land in Vienna, take a 3 hour train ride to Graz city center, then take a tram to a nearby stop by the hotel. That was the plan, anyway. We get booted off halfway through the ride, unsure why; the lady speaks in German and as soon as she finishes almost everyone on the tram groans in disappointment. Still don't know what happened, and we end up walking 20 minutes with our luggage the rest of the way. 

Finally, we are here. I'm so tired. The time difference is so stark that I find it hard to keep track. I think we're ahead by 6 hours? Or behind. 

It sounds like I hate it here, but I promise, I don't. Not yet. There's still 4 more days to prove me wrong. 

I slept the rest of the day while my boyfriend went to a work dinner, no big deal. The next day he takes me to the convention; I didn't think I was going to come but here I was, blue lanyard placed over me and a sea of European nerds at every corner. I wasn't the only person of color, but being the only woman of color is a different experience. I felt like quite an idiot in my denim miniskirt and babydoll top, like an accessory for my boyfriend to tote around while I sat for hours in talks, listening to various people discuss things like bug triaging and FOSS. Few were pretty interesting if the speaker was interesting enough, but most of it droned on and on and I would take a look around the room and think, "If I knew everything that everyone was talking about, would this be exciting for me?"

Thankfully I brought my laptop and my Canon Rebel. I think if I didn't have these things with me I'd go nuts. Walking around I'm able to snap the most beautiful photos of the city. I'm hoping we get to visit the Schlossburg, an extremely long, winding staircase in the center of the city, where once you embark on it leads you to a huge clocktower and a gorgeous view from above. And a cafe, of course. I'm not obliged to take the stairs, thank god. It's the tram for me. That and the famous Kunsthaus Graz, its giant, metal, oblong sculpture a national landmark. I think it's supposed to represent an organ, I'm not sure.

I took some photos mostly around the campus that the convention was in. It's a very, very quiet area. With my social anxiety of course I gave it no mind. The air was brisk, but I wasn't freezing. Still regretting not bringing a pair of jeans. I swear, every time you tell yourself you packed like an absolute champion, you always forget something so simple and it puts a downer on the rest of your time. Not having the comfort of changing my outfit willy-nilly proves to be such a challenge yet again. Hotels should let you do your laundry because now I just want to wear the same beaten hoodie and shorts over and over. 

It was 6:30 when we finally finished up for the day. My boyfriend had commented that there was a Thai place right by our hotel. I know, strange choice but Thai is my comfort food and I was already feeling utmost uncomfortable by such a long day. It was a tiny restaurant ran by one German man who spoke so sweet and softly. Later on we found out he owns the place with his wife who was from Thailand. Makes sense why the food was so good. 

Everything closes so early here. So, so early. Even on Saturday, when this took place. We ate at around 8pm and by then most shops had shut down by 6. I was craving a sweet, an ice cream or a gelato or something but when we finished and paid the closest place was already closed at 9. We walked home sad and ice cream-less. 

I Saw the Tv Glow Review

★★★★☆

I watched this in the confines of my living room, in a state that many people experience. Indifference as a tv screen glows pictures in your face. A reoccurring image that is relayed so many times in this film, and it's beautiful. And it's sad. So terribly, terribly sad. To watch the time pass, "years pass by like seconds". 

There is still time.

I almost felt anger watching Owen. Watching the choices he makes, the way he turns around from situations, the hiding, the silence, the running away. It made me so mad that I wanted to cry. It felt like looking in a mirror.

Every young person, with numerous differences between one another and decades apart, have all felt this same feeling. Scared and horrified at yourself. I still feel this way. I'm angry at myself too. Watching it on the screen, I thought, "how could you let this take this long?" Instead I should be thinking, "don't be afraid. it's never too late."

The ending feels so painful, but I'm a little more optimistic than that. I like to think he went to find his heart again. Where it has been, all this time, beating.